I’m Not Waiting

Silence is rarely neutral. For one person, it can feel like pressure building in the chest — 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨? 𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺? For the other, it can feel like containment — 𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘺𝘦𝘵, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦. Both are trying to stay safe. I used to go quiet…

🐾 𝑻𝒘𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆:I don’t ask for reassurance often—but when it comes, it hits like a drug.Scratch me behind the ears—I’ll follow you around for hours. I’ve learned to be steady—after years of stumbling.I don’t need managing—but I do need respect.I carry what’s mine—some loads just took longer…

Sometimes I think about the possibility that you’re already out there.Not searching. Just… living.Going about your days with a soft ache you can’t quite name.Maybe you don’t know I exist. Maybe you never will.But I’m here. Quietly. Open.If you’re here too, that’s enough for now.

To me, healthy love doesn’t look like a cycle of panic and grand gestures. It looks like a steady rhythm of small, ordinary evidences. It’s the regular heartbeats of showing each other we’re each’s other in all the small ways. Not a dozen roses because I’m “in trouble,” but materializing back at the cart while…

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡.Not because it’s easy. Not because it stopped hurting.But because something inside you still wants to be here.Still wants to try.Not for them. Not for applause.Just… because you’re not done yet. Part 1: If You Need to Scream, Scream Part 2: What it Looks Like When…

You’re not broken.You’ve just been braced for too long. A man who sees that won’t rush to fix you.He won’t offer tools.He’ll offer space. The right kind of space rewires everything.And the ones who get that—really get it—don’t come in trying to fix you.They make the space feel safe enough to take the brace off….