Learned to Hold

For the woman who’s loved a man before he was ready—I won’t pretend the end was all on me. But still—I wish I had been the man I am now, back then.I can’t go back.But I can be grateful for the part she played in helping me become the one I’ll be for someone else.

She flinched.The world hit her first. He didn’t flinch back.He didn’t explain. He just stepped forward—and became the thing the world had to go through. ___________________________This page is for women who still wonder if a man could actually feel her—not just want her, or need her, but *get* her.Women who’ve had to carry both the…

Living by the ocean, this is the sign I look for every year that winter has finally broke. The coast is waking up today! The first ribbon of water opening as the ice breaks and separates, and the first of the fleet being moved into place. The lobsters are coming out of hibernation, and the…

Some women see stillness and assume it means he’s waiting.For her. For a sign. For permission.But stillness can be motion—just internal.𝘏𝘦’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘏𝘦’𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯.

There’s a difference between being composed and being closed.I’ve done both. When I’m composed, I have room for you.When I’m hiding, there’s barely room for me.

You’re not broken.You’ve just been braced for too long. A man who sees that won’t rush to fix you.He won’t offer tools.He’ll offer space. The right kind of space rewires everything.And the ones who get that—really get it—don’t come in trying to fix you.They make the space feel safe enough to take the brace off….